After walking off the plane and into Suvarnabhumi Airport, excitement was mounting as I struggled to connect to wifi. This was the first time I’d see my brother and cousins in over a year… and it was in Thailand of all places. Finally I managed to get on one of the airport networks and a Facebook message came in from Dan…

“Hey hey, sooooo small oversight on our plan… turns out our flights arrive at different airports. So we are going to have to meet at the hostel.”

What?! All this pre-planning for a meeting point and multiple backup plans in case we couldn’t connect to the wifi, and we overlooked such a crucial part of the information?! He had already sent a detailed email with the location of the hostel and the rundown of what happened to the whole family.

Then I see an incoming call: Dan Gray. I pick up, and Dan tells me that this entire snafu is a misunderstanding, that he had gone to information to check which gate my flight was coming into and he had accidentally opened our outgoing flight information, which happened to be at the other airport in Bangkok, Don Mueang International Airport. Luckily he realized this before leaving the airport, so it was only a short time before I saw Dan, Zack, and Josh walking down the hall to my gate. We all laughed about the mix up, and decided it was a small price to pay for realizing that our departing flight was out of a different airport than the one we were at (which easily could have gone unrealized). Then Dan and I pointed to different signs for where to go (visas on arrival versus immigration). After I mentioned we didn’t need visas on arrival for Thailand, we headed my way. Except I followed the arrow on the sign too literally and almost turned into a wall. It was truly a great start to navigating Thailand!

They told me about their flight and short stay in Hong Kong as we inched up in line. The immigration officer stamped our passports, and we were on our way, together, to Mad Monkey Hostel. The hostel had a backpacker-friendly bar attached to the lobby. The rooms were simple, just bunks and a bathroom with nothing on the walls. By the time we split the cost of the room between four people, it was only $10 a night. Welcome to Thailand, where everything is cheaper than you’d ever fathom.

We looked at the binder of featured tours in the lobby and decided to do a bit of our own scouting for tours as well. Our hostel was near the Mecca of all things “backpacker”: Khaosan Road, so we headed there to do some investigating. Naturally, I got pad thai and spring rolls from a street stand as soon as possible. Then, Zack and I went to one agency, and Josh and Dan went to another. When we reconvened, it didn’t seem like those were such good options, so we went with a package out of the hostel binder. The next morning would be a half-day trip to the floating market, and in the afternoon we would head to Erawan National Park to hike and swim in the waterfalls.

Once we had locked down our tour for the next day, we walked to a nearby pier and picked up the “Chao Phraya Tourist Boat,” which floats along the Chao Phraya River. For only $1.50 each, we sat on the roof of the boat, wind in our hair, watching temples peak over buildings in the distance. Everyone was a little bit jet lagged from the trip, and the gentle rocking of the boat had us struggling to keep our eyes open.

When we reached the Asiatique pier, we were told to get off. We were dumped onto land and found ourselves in an upscale, riverfront, open-air mall. A ferris wheel made it a bit reminiscent of Navy Pier. Vendors sold tempting popsicles with whole fruit frozen inside. I got a heart-shaped one. Who am I to resist fresh fruit popsicles on a pier in Thailand?

We walked around the shops selling souvenirs, passing a costumed Pikachu posing for photos with tourists on the way. We decided to sit down at a restaurant with an outdoor patio since the weather was beautiful. It was the perfect temperature right around sunset. It was here that Josh and I got our first fruit smoothies of the trip. I was so happy to be sitting with my family on a continent I’ve been missing them from for more than a year. I felt complete.

When it got dark, we hopped in a taxi. The driver kept trying  to teach Dan Thai and claimed he had been on TV. The traffic was absurd and we were stuck in the car with the Thai-teaching driver for at least an hour for what was supposed to be a short trip. Zack even took a decent nap and woke up in almost the same place he fell asleep. It was a relief to get out of that car and be back in the hostel.

To cap off the night, Dan, Zack, and I all went across the street to get massages at a little hole-in-the-wall place called “Cherry Massage.” Like everything in Thailand, they were cheap. It was Zack’s first ever massage, and he got completely addicted. The amount of massages we got on this trip rivaled the amount of mango smoothies I drank, and that says a lot. After that, it was straight to bed for an early morning.

The next morning we were picked up in a shared van and off to the floating market, which was farther away than we expected. It seemed like we were in the van for hours. Eventually we got there and were ushered into a canoe-type boat. The river was densely packed with tourists and at times it was like bumper boats. Vendors shouted deals left and right for anything from elephant t-shirts to mango sticky rice. I bought some mango from the boat. Buying from the boat was a little stressful because you were moving and had to make snap decisions. Not to mention, you never knew if you were going to get your change back as the boat floated away. Luckily, the mango transaction was successful. However, we did more in-depth shopping walking along the sides of the river.

I read that a long time ago, the area was mostly jungle, so boats were the main style of transport. Boats were also used for local and regional trade, so it made sense historically that the floating markets developed. Nowadays, they make little logical sense, but they’re still really neat, despite being mostly for tourists.

I bought a handheld fan and an elephant tank top from the vendor adjacent to the river, and Zack got a wooden elephant puzzle for his nephew and godson, Graham. We also sat down for a quick Pho-style lunch, riverside. From there, we reconnected with the group, and then we got into another boat, except this one was more of a motorboat. The driver pumped loud hip-hop jams from a large speaker in the back as we flew through narrow canals of residential housing and drew stares. It was a relaxing ride, and there weren’t other tourist boats in that area, so it felt good to zip away from the chaos of the floating market. At the same time, it felt bizarre having such an odd soundtrack for our rural getaway.

When we got off this boat, our group split into different vans based on the tours we signed up for. Our van stopped at a restaurant seemingly in the middle of nowhere that already had our food laid out for us when we arrived. We had a second small meal, and got back in the van. The rest of our car got out at Death Railway, a railway constructed by POWs during World War II and became well-known from a movie called “The Bridge Over the River Kwai.” Construction for the railroad started in 1942, and it’s said that a worker died for every sleeper laid in the track, which spanned 250 miles. About 9,000 POWs who died working on the railroad are buried in two nearby cemeteries.

We didn’t get off there, just Googled some quick information. We had a bit farther to go in the van before reaching Erawan National Park, known for its seven-tiered waterfall. Apparently the national park (“Erawan”) is named after the 3-headed, white elephant in Hindu mythology. We quickly hopped out and changed into swimsuits, eager to explore the forest.

We walked up the winding path over rivers and surrounded by plants and trees. The park closed at 5 p.m. and rangers wouldn’t let you past certain checkpoints higher up the mountain as it was approaching closing time. We hiked up as far as we could given the limited time, but we never reached the one at the very top. We had come prepared to swim, so we jumped into the clear water and tried to avoid the nipping fish. Unlike the fish at a fish massage, these ones actually stung. I tried to keep my legs moving to scare them off. Every time I felt one brush my leg, I jumped a bit. I walked under the waterfall and let it rain down on me like a showerhead, but soon the fish became too much. I had to get out of there. Not to mention, we were going to be late for the van.

We hurried down the path, and discovered that there were, in fact, other people on our van ride back (unlike the way there), so we felt a little guilty for keeping them waiting. By the time we were en route to Bangkok, it was probably 20 minutes after the scheduled time. The driver seemed a bit annoyed. I felt bad, but also that our time there was rushed. It was beautiful though; I’m glad we went. Traffic into Bangkok wasn’t too bad, nothing like the other night. Little did we know at the time, but that night was also nothing like the other night in more ways than just the traffic. I will get to that later.

For dinner, we ate outside on Khao San Road, which was an entirely new beast at night. Bars came alive with thumping music, and let’s just say that a lot of the things they were selling were not kid-friendly. We were approached numerous times throughout our meal by vendors selling scorpions on a stick and X-rated, sexually explicit wristbands in English. We got a good laugh over how the vendors probably had no idea what the bracelets said. A family was sitting at the table next to ours and the parents cringed in horror at the raunchy phrases written on the bracelets. It was a fantastic people watching experience, at the cost of having to say no over and over again until they finally walked away.

After dinner, Josh went back to the hostel, and Dan, Zack, and I looked for yet another massage. It was on our search for massages that we were approached about attending a “ping-pong show.” If you’re thinking it’s actually related to the sport of ping-pong, guess again. It’s a show where scantily clad women pull things out of their vaginas. Some of these things include ping-pong balls, Christmas lights, and ribbon, for example. Ping-pong shows are famous in Thailand, and it’s definitely one of those “once in a lifetime” opportunities. It was recommended to me before I went to Thailand the first time, but when Megan and I tried to go, we thought we were being ripped off and left. Then we were so busy, we never had the opportunity to go again. Since I was up for it, Zack was up for it. And of course, Dan was up for it no questions asked. We asked the tuk tuk driver how good it was, and he just said, “Wow.” We were sold. Next thing we know, we were in his tuk tuk getting delivered to some unnamed location that seemed sketchier and sketchier the farther away he took us from Khao San Road. We never asked him where it was, and we had been in this tuk tuk for at least 10 minutes. We contemplated escape plans in case this turned out to be a kidnapping or a robbery. Thankfully, he pulled into the parking lot of an unmarked building, smoking cab drivers lurking around the exit. It’s rare that I’d ever write that sentence and begin it with “thankfully,” but we were pleased that he was telling the truth.

We got out and went inside. We all got a drink included with the show, which contained multiple acts in a continuous loop. Nearly naked women stepped onto a stage surrounded by tourists sitting in folding chairs. They shot darts at balloons out of their vaginas, they opened glass-bottled sodas with their vaginas, they blew out candles on a cake with their vaginas… it was truly a sight to see. Consistent with the name of the show, they also shot ping-pong balls out of their vaginas into a cup. We joked that we must have gone to the budget ping-pong show because the girls weren’t who you’d picture as being stage performers. Some were short, some were overweight, some were short and overweight. Most of all, they looked expressionless on stage, like they were blind of what they were doing, and that made me feel very sad for them. This was probably their desperate way to make an income in Thailand, despite it being personally humiliating. I don’t believe that any of them wanted to be on stage performing like this— you could see that in their eyes.

Once we saw the first act repeat, we knew we had seen the whole cycle and headed outside. The tuk tuk drivers tried hiking the price on the return trip since they knew we were stranded in the Bangkok suburbs. However, there were so many drivers competing for the job that if one wouldn’t budge on a price, we’d just ask the next one in line. Two drivers refused to drop their price and we went with the third (who was standing right next to the first two). The ride back seemed even longer and we weren’t sure if this driver was going to try to scam us either, but he didn’t. We made it back to Khao San Road. Then, we went for massages around 2 a.m. They pulled curtains between all of our beds and we relaxed for our Swedish oil massages. You might think, “Why wouldn’t you get a Thai-style massage in Thailand?” And the answer is that the Thai-style massage, which includes a lot of tugging and stretching of limbs, just isn’t that soothing. I’m sure it feels great afterwards, but the process is fairly painful, whereas the Swedish oil massage feels amazing and doesn’t hurt at all. So we went with that one. Finally, we walked back to Mad Monkey Hostel in the middle of the night, with a story to tell Josh in the morning.

Zack was already missing American food apparently and convinced Dan and Josh to get breakfast at McDonalds. I got another pad thai from the street vendor outside. When in Thailand, have pad thai for breakfast! This was our last day in Bangkok, and we planned to visit some of the iconic temples downtown. There are more than 400 temples in Bangkok, but we only made it to the most famous ones for fear of temple fatigue. You just can’t go to that many temples! Not to mention, you need to cover your knees to enter the temples and it was boiling outside. When a stranger tried to tell us the temples were closed in an attempt to get us to take a taxi ride, Dan quickly shut him down and pushed forward.

First we went to the Grand Palace, which covers 218,400 square kilometers and contains the royal residences, government offices, and the Emerald Buddha. It was hectic inside the Grand Palace walls— people posing for photos, cameras flashing, the sun beating down on us. It was huge, and certainly impressive. A lot of the architecture was covered in gold and colorful stones, with menacing statues guarding the outside. We walked the grounds while reading the informational pamphlet, but it was so crazy with people and the heat that we didn’t stay very long.

Next we headed to Wat Pho, or The Temple of the Reclining Buddha. First you walk into an open air building where you can ring a gong. The next building houses the Buddha, so you must take off your shoes. The massive Buddha is 15 meters tall, 46 meters long, and completely covered in gold leaf save for a 5-meter-long section on its feet made from mother-of-pearl. The Buddha is so large that it practically fills the entire building housing it.

Along the walls are 108 bronze bowls, symbolic of the 108 positive actions that led Buddha to perfection. You can make a wish and drop a coin into each of these bowls, which ring with the clink of the coin, and the money goes towards helping the monks renovate the temple. Further into the temple grounds are 91 chedis (stupas) covered in ceramic tiles, as well as a line of golden Buddha statues from all over Thailand.

We were templed out and it was time to head to the airport anyway (not the one we arrived at, the other one). We headed back to the hostel in a cab, and conveyed to our cab driver with English and hand signals that we wanted him to stay and take us to the airport. It worked, and we headed to what would be my first airport lounge. A buffet of free food, free massages, and complimentary cocktails awaited us. Yes, a masseuse walked around the room giving head, neck, and shoulder massages. Why aren’t all airports like the Thailand airport’s lounge? The world would be a much better place. I watched lightning reach across the sky as our flight to Cambodia got closer. It was slightly delayed, but only because AirAsia is slow, not because of the lightning.